Why do we not get told about the 4th trimester?!
Don't worry mums to be, your baby will still be here after the third trimester! The fourth trimester is the 12 weeks after birth that no one tells you about!! It's the time that our little precious bundles are getting to know this new and amazing world around us. Every single thing they see each day is brand new, they are working out where the hell they are, after being kept in a perfect little hide out for 10 months, yes I say 10 months. Let's be honest pregnancy is more like 10 months than 9 months!
Our little bundles are so used to getting their food on tap, literally, and sleeping without being disturbed. It was a dream for them, now they have been thrown in to this new big world that they all of a sudden have to get used to. Well that's what the fourth trimester is about, they say it takes about 3 months, maybe more for your baby to adjust. That means in that time you need to focus 100% on your baby. Easily said than done right?
So before I read about the forth trimester I was doing wayyyy too much, causing myself stress over the little things. There is so much pressure now to look good, feel good, cook and clean, attending appointments every other day...the list goes on. But after reading about this forth trimester it suddenly occurred to me, we just need to let it be. Our baby is just that, our baby. They need their mother, no one else. So I told myself I just need to ask for help (I'm terrible at asking for help!) before my baby is a toddler and I missed them critical weeks and months stressing out. Now is their most important developmental time and we must focus on them!
Since realising what I need to do, it hasn't been all that easy. We don't have a lot of extended family that we can ask for help, my mother works full time so it's not that simple. I needed to ask my husband for more help than he already does for us all. He already works stupid hours to provide for us, he does a lot with the toddler when he's home and now I'm asking him to clean on the odd occasion. It has put a massive strain on our marriage and I believe everyone will go through this at some stage, especially those with children, even more so the ones with 2 under 2!
Men and woman are wired completely different and that is what makes these situations so much more difficult. It takes a strong couple to get through these difficult times but for me and I'm sure many other mothers, their baby takes priority in these situations. These moments will not last long, in fact every week changes and time goes too fast to have to worry about the silly things in life that don't matter.
I'd love to know I'm not the only one trying to put on a brave face? Please please share your stories with me also! 😅 I love my husband and children very much but damn this is hard work right now!
PS. Yes we photographers also take snap shots on our phones :O